I first fell in love when I was 19. The object of my affection was the epitome of perfection: head-turning looks that captured everyone’s attention, giant eyelashes that held your gaze, and a stature so tall they simply towered over everything. I know what you’re thinking. And sure, I’ll admit that looks aren’t everything. But you see, my first love affair was not with a person. It was with a pair of shoes.

To be clear, these weren’t just any shoes. They were seven-inch platform heels that looked completely bonkers in every single way. Bright pink with black leopard print spots. Gold lining around the edges. And, for no reason in particular, two big eyes on each toe that came complete with gold eyelashes made from tinsel. With no discernable label, the shoes came to me via a vintage shop in San Francisco. I wore them to death to almost every single party I attended for the following few years, including my 21st birthday; the eyelashes matched the sequins on my dress.

There was just something about those shoes that made me feel powerful, unstoppable even. Like by being that tall, and making such a loud sound with every step, I was signaling my presence and authority to the world: here I am, folks, watch out.

There’s also the added perk of elongating your legs – nothing flatters quite like an enormous pair of platform shoes – and while that’s definitely not my sole (pun intended) motivation, it’s certainly a bonus.

Since the day I found the eyelash shoes, I’ve been an unstoppable platform shoe hoarder. It’s actually a bit of a problem; the second I get a payslip, the first thing I think about is usually shoes. This is still the case when my rent is due, or I have a whopping heating bill to pay. It’s not something I can afford to indulge right now. And yet, my fixation remains. I’m not picky. So long as they have a huge platform – the bigger the better – and I can walk comfortably in them. I’ll take whatever I can get.

My obsession has not been dampened by the fact that platform shoes are currently a major trend. Thanks to the resurgence of ‘90s and early Noughties aesthetics, platforms are everywhere right now, from runways to my Instagram Explore page. Consider Versace’s signature Medusa pumps, worn recently by everyone from Dua Lipa to Florence Pugh, or Valentino’s Discobox platforms worn by Anne Hathaway and Selena Gomez. My favourite shoes are having a moment; one I’ve been waiting a while for. Now, everyone from Gucci and Prada to Christian Louboutin and Jimmy Choo has tapped into the platform trend.

Over the years I’ve managed to acquire quite the collection of platform shoes by way of birthday gifts and careful saving. There are the vintage ones, like the first pair I bought, and the giant burgundy velvet flatforms I found in the same shop the following year – again, no label.

My love for platforms is such that my friends can usually hear me before they see me, thanks to the volume of a stomping shoe on a cold hard floor. “Another pair of hooves, then?” one always remarks when I arrive at the pub in a new pair of clompers. Yes, another pair of hooves. Let’s hope there are plenty more to come.